Let’s Taco 'Bout Communication

What is it about a large, satisfying meal that prompts us to lean back and sigh, either in satisfaction or in regret for having indulged too much? Consider the taco joint just down the road from my former workplace, where the servings were generous enough for three. Time and again, I told myself, "Ask for half, just half," yet every visit saw me failing to communicate this simple request, leading to the inevitable struggle with overindulgence. This recurring scenario isn't just a tale of culinary excess but a poignant metaphor for the essential nature of communication.

Communication seems straightforward, doesn’t it? We have countless ways to connect—talking, writing, calling, texting, using Snapchat—the list goes on. Yet, with all these methods at our disposal, miscommunications are surprisingly common. George Bernard Shaw captured it best when he said, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

Reflecting on my 27-year tenure in the US Army, retiring as a Colonel before transitioning to the private sector, I recognized early on that communication is pivotal to success. Throughout my career, both in military and civilian roles, I have endeavored to impart the significance of robust communication practices. The absence of effective communication typically leads to a maze of problems.

Whether it’s a misunderstanding, a mistake, or a more significant issue, a common thread links them all: communication—or rather, the lack thereof. It might be a failure to convey intentions clearly, an assumption of understanding, or misinterpreted body language. When we communicate, it is crucial not only to clarify our message but also to ensure that it is received as intended. As Stephen R. Covey once insightfully remarked, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” This is why I've always advocated to my teams the principle that "You can't over-communicate."

Communication is akin to an ever-evolving painting, requiring daily effort and attention to each unique stroke. The way we speak to a toddler differs vastly from our interactions with a Fortune 500 CEO. It is incumbent upon us to carefully consider not only what message we need to convey but how best to convey it to ensure it is understood as intended. Everyone processes information differently; this diversity is what enriches human interaction but also complicates it.

Navigating the complexities of communication can be a source of frustration. Just when you think you've mastered it, a miscommunication occurs, throwing a wrench into well-laid plans. Miscommunication is an ever-present shadow, ready to undermine our efforts. However, by adopting a few simple strategies, we can minimize its risks.

Firstly, always provide complete and relevant information. Do not presume the other person knows what you mean; be explicit and intentional. Secondly, try to understand how the other person prefers to receive information. While direct, in-person communication often yields the best results by reducing ambiguity, sometimes we must rely on email, text, or other methods. Thirdly, foster an environment that encourages open and clear dialogue. If asking questions is met with ridicule, we cannot expect our team members to seek clarification. Lastly, champion active listening. Encourage everyone to repeat what was discussed to confirm understanding and clarify any discrepancies. As Friedrich Nietzsche once posited, "All misunderstanding in life comes from not knowing oneself well enough."

"All misunderstanding in life comes from not knowing oneself well enough."

I have always believed that effective communication is a fundamental pillar of society. It is the bedrock upon which we build environments of openness, creativity, and understanding. Without it, we are left to our interpretations, often misaligned with the intended message. If there is any lasting impression I hope to leave on my colleagues and teams, it is the undeniable value of communication: you simply cannot over-communicate; it's too important to overlook.